Slattery Smiles

Caregiving

2011-01-29T10:16:00.000-08:00

Caregiving
Giving care
Of course I care
That's
My mom
My son
My husband
My daughter
My friend.
Giving - that's the word.
I give a lot.
Give time
Consolation
Love
Pep talks
Explanations
Food
Clean clothes
Medicine
Advice
Money
Shopping trips
Car rides
Dog walks
Instructions.
Those are a few things I give
All wrapped up in the name of " care".
I give what is needed
Not always what is wanted.
But I will give
Of myself as much as I can
Because I am a caregiver.
I give
Because
I care .

Why Do I Look?

2011-01-20T19:39:00.000-08:00

W h y   d o   I   l o o k ?

W h y   d o   I   l o o k
A t   y o u r   e m p t y   h o u s e ?
I   p a s s e d   i t   b y   a g a i n   t o d a y
T h e   h o u s e
O n c e   v i b r a n t   a n d   a l i v e
W i t h   k i d s ,   t o y s   a n d   p l a n t s
W i t h   t o o l s   a n d   c h a i r s
T h a t   I   k n e w
T h a t   I   h a d   t o u c h e d
T h a t   I   u s e d
T h a t   I   s a t   u p o n.
B u t   t h e y   a r e   g o n e
A n d   s o   a r e   y o u.
M o v e d   a w a y
S o   w h y   d o   I   l o o k ?
I   a l w a y s   l o o k
W h e n   I   p a s s   b y
I   a l w a y s   l o o k.
O t h e r s   a r e   t h e r e
I n   y o u r   h o u s e
O n   y o u r   l a w n
W a l k i n g   t h e   h a l l s
I   h a d   c o m e   t o   k n o w .
O t h e r s .
W h y   d o   I   l o o k ?
I   m i s s   y o u .
I   m i s s   u s .
S o   I   l o o k
J u s t   i n   c a s e
Y o u ' r e   t h e r e
B u t   y o u ' r e   n o t.
A n d   I   r e m e m b e r   o n c e   m o r e
W i t h   s a d n e s s
T h a t   y o u   a r e   g o n e .

So
W h y d o I l o o k ?

Life Poems

2010-12-30T20:33:00.000-08:00

Mom's pain

Is it real
Is it imagined
Does it matter?
It is pain
Her pain
So much pain she will curse
She will question why
She will cry
She will become like a child
not knowing what to do.
I have a pill
It takes time to work
I have another pill
I have a soothing voice
Suggestions to lie down
I have no answer.
But I must steel myself
Not be drawn in to the pain
Not be offended by the cursing
Not be saddened by the tears.
I can no longer be the child
Though she is my mother
I must be her caretaker
Her companion
Her nurse
I must help her deal with the pain
Together we fight the pain
Not so much her daughter any more
But she will always be
My mom.

Life Poems

2010-12-30T20:29:00.000-08:00

Giving blood

Life flowing silently within me
Keeping me alive
Feeding my organs
Bur now I chose to share this life force
Invade my veins
Stick in a tube
I will squeeze the ball to push out my blood
Thick and red
I don't look
Try not to think
About my life force flowing out
Trusting that what they say is true
I can build a new pint within a day
My friend cannot
She has a sickness in her blood
Undeserved,
uninvited
Yet it came
I will gladly share my life force with her
How amazing is this blood
How necessary for it to flow silently within me
I am grateful that I can share.

Cargiving

2010-07-13T18:59:00.000-07:00

When we got our dog, Bambi (a golden doodle - terrific dog) my husband said are you sure you want one more special needs individual in your life? He had a point. But we got one anyway, and she helps the other special needs people very much. (although the first year created some very anxiety filled moments)

But this is not about the dog. I toggle my time between caring for my son with Down syndrome and my aging mom with dementia. Many days are almost carefree. He is at school, she is well and watching her favorite movie (Pride and Prejudice) andI am free to shop or have coffe or surf the net or keep house as I see fit. Other days and weeks are not so free.

Take this one for example. I was looking forward to seeing one of my sons in a Mardi Gras parade last Saturday, but that got curtailed when Mom woke up with extreme vomitting and diarhea. Poor thing was a mess. Caregiving. How much have you loved today? Enough to clean up the mess? Enough to comfort? Enough to spend the next 7 hours in the ER while they replace her fluids and send her home? Enough to miss the parade?

It is the kind of thing you just do and think about later. You can't keep counting the costs. You just do what has to be done.

I contracted the stupid virus myself and watched the Saints win the superbowl from my sick bed amid dozing off and trips to the bathroom. May I just say for the record - not fair!

New start

2010-07-13T06:59:00.000-07:00

Got an iPhone. Going to try to update
My blog more often. We will see how it goes. We baptized my newest grandchild,Blaise Robert this weekend. I'm going to try to post a picture.

Where did summer go?

2008-08-21T18:22:00.000-07:00

Since I last posted, I've been kind of busy. :)

It started in April when Mom had surgery. All is well and recuperated with her. But that took two weeks of hospital stay and a few more weeks of at home recuperating.

Actually it started before that with the bathroom renovation. That took almost six weeks, but it looks fantastic!

Mike Pingel and Andy Shaw work very hard!

We planned Stephen's birthday party for the end of May, at the end of school. Then we find out the Colorado Roses were moving to town!

Note the rocking horse on the roof!

So right after school is out, the Roses are in!. Thankfully the bathroom was completed that week! They lived with us in squeezed but happy quarters. Who can't help but smile when Zelie flashes a sweet one? That lasted six weeks.

Amidst that we had John & Kristen's wedding to attend in Pittsburgh. Big trip. Lots of people. Keeping Stephen happy. Keeping up with family people. Making sure the rehearsal dinner was okay. Keeping up with New Orleans people. Keeping Stephen busy. Enjoying John & Kristen's big day. Meeting Kristen's lovely family people. Keeping Stephen from having a meltdown. Keeping cool! Dancing with lots of people. Whew! That lasted a week.

They look very happy. Check out the next video to see a sneak preview of their marital bliss!

Then Theresa and Pete brought Gregory and Louis down to visit while they went to Dallas for a few days. They were little angels. Very sweet. I was very tired. That took four days.

Next Theresa agreed to watch Stephen (and Grace Marie helped) so Phil and I could get away. So we went to Atlanta. Did CNN, Coke and aquarium. Visited Phil's sister Patti and Brian Bienn and their boys Harris and Mack. Great family. it was so good to see them all. Harris is in the Marines. Pray for him!

That was only 3 days. Phil with Harris.

Soon after that Grace Marie and Paul had another big move out to their new home around the corner. Very nice place. We all have a bit more elbow room.

Stephen went to Contemporary arts camp for a few weeks and before you know it, school has started back up!

Where did the summer go? It was life lived and shared among family and friends. It was a summer blessed by the Lord with safe voyages and better health. Granted it was busy. I think Stephen's summer book will have more pages this year than last. But it's a summer that went in our memory as rich, blessed and very full!

Viewing the world

2008-04-26T19:07:00.000-07:00

As I venture further into the technical world, I am attempting video movie making. My loving husband got me a video palmcorder for my birthday, so I can make talking pictures now! (as opposed to the silent films my digital camera creates!)

Not that I have time to do this craziness! As I write this my mom is recovering from colon cancer surgery. All is well, thank God, but her recovery is a slow process.

We are also renovating our bathroom. That video is next!

Mardi Gras and Lent

2008-02-15T11:44:00.000-08:00

Okay, the new year continues into an early Mardi Gras and Letnen season. Which is fine by me. Mardi Gras was great. Here are a few pictures:

Superman Stephen snacking while waiting for the Rex parade. Joanna and baby Anna, Mehan Mehaffey and Eileen Timler.

Granddad Phil and Zachary.

Now on to Lent. I am giving myself a weight loss challenge. A dozen for a dozen. Exchange (or lose) a dozen pounds for a dozen Easter eggs. Time to take back control! This is a good time of year for me to make this a spiritual battle of the will.

Dieting isn't always a spiritual thing, but there's something about fasting that brings food consumption into the forefront as a real player in prayer. I want to incorporate that aspect of prayer into my life. I know I will reap prayer benifits from it. I also plan to reap weight loss benifits from it.

So if you have a prayer request I will be happy to pray for you as I fast. God's power is alive and strong and He is still working miracles.

Beginnings

2008-01-26T20:17:00.000-08:00

I love beginning a new year. It is refreshing. I buy new calendars and notebooks and attempt to reorganize my life. I get a handle on things. It feels good. Don't know how long it Will last, but for a while I at least feel like I have it all together!

I rang in the New Year with an awful stomach virus from which I have recovered. John and Kristen and the Martins were in for the New Year weekend as well. Here are some pictures.

Christmas was also great fun! Patrick was in, the Roys came over, the Martins were here. Santa was successful once again.

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-16T18:54:00.000-08:00

For those who wonder what we're up to, life is blessed and busy. I've been helping conduct the choir at St. Michael's Special School where Stephen goes. The performance was on Dec.8th and was very successful. I think it brought joy to the full house who came. Of course I am always blessed many times over by the beautiful spirits of these students.

So to catch up, Joanna had her baby on Nov.7th. Baby Anna Gloria Roy. Daniel and Zachary were happy to have a sister. Mother and Daughter are doing just great! Daddy Joe is keeping everyone happy working hard, cooking, and all around caring for his family.

We had a marvelous Thanksgiving. John and his fiance Kristen came to visit. . John and Kristen got to meet our family and friends in the short three days they were here. They will return again for New Year's.

Patrick also came and brought his dog Riley to visit Bambi. They had a great time

Fall is here now. I've posted some video of Stephen and Phil and the leaf jumping Olympics. Unfortunately my camera doesn't add sound, but leaf jumping does not rely on sound anyway.

So, I should be writing Christmas cards right now, but decided to post this first. My shopping is almost complete. The best part about playing Santa is that you get such joy out of surprising others with gifts. Theresa, Pete, Gregory and Louis will be here for the holidays. That will add lots of baby fun and excitement to the household. Patrick and Riley will come in also. Bambi can't wait. Of course, Michael and Stephen will be here. Michael just finished another semester at UNO. Grandma Alice is here too. Her shopping is done already, just waiting on the UPS to deliver all the orders!

Had to mail gifts to Grace, Paul and Cy, Kerri and Zelie as they will not be here for Christmas. We had a wonderful visit with them here in October. And I'm sure we will see them again soon. Maybe for Mardi Gras.

Well, a blessed Christmas to all who read this and a happy and Christ-filled New Year for you all.

Time Flies

2007-09-17T19:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it's been awhile since I posted. Summertime gets a bit hectic. But now that school is back in session, and life is more into a routine, I'll get back to this.

We had a great family vacation on the Guadeloupe River in Texas. Here is a family shot.

Then we had Joe Timler (brother of our friend John) from South Bend stay with us for a few weeks in July. Stephen shared his room. It was lots of fun. (Finally someone to play pirates with!)

During the summer Stephen played baseball, had a week of horseback riding camp and was on the Green Acres swim team.

In August, we were deeply grieved by Grace & Paul's miscarriage. I was able to visit them over Labor Day. They have had one tough summer, but the Lord is their strength and life continues. The three kids, Cy, Kerri and Zelie are wonderful.

Here they are showing off their tiger painted faces from our trip to the zoo.

Also, a few weeks ago we finally agreed to get a puppy for Stephen. We decided on a "goldendoodle" which is a mix of golden retriever and poodle. Kind of like a small polar bear!

Even though I was sure I was ready for, as someone put it, "one more special needs individual to care for" I began feeling a bit panicked. However, with prayer and perserverance, these feelings have calmed down.

I actually am enjoying Bambi now. And Stephen is really bonding with her which is what we wanted. He lets her out of her kennel in the morning and takes her outside. He feeds her and loves her. The playful puppy part is tricky, all those sharp baby teeth can get annoying! But she'll grow out of that right?

Also this summer John got engaged! We met Kristen briefly at our summer vacation and really enjoyed her. So, wedding plans will be part of our life for the next year. Parents of the groom this time around - what fun!

Finally, I got a new computer, so I am on a learning curve with that. I decided to get another Dell, the XPS 210 . It's very nice and fast. My old one was slow, probably because of all I had on it. Michael has been able, with John's help, to set it up to use in the "East Wing" - even got the remote internet working. So I'm glad that is accomplished.

I guess that brings us up to date. I'm probably forgetting something. But for now, for whoever cares, this is our life. It is good. God is merciful.

A Fine Farewell

2007-06-09T20:26:00.000-07:00

Ken, Phyliss, Liz, Marsha, Mom

Mom and I took an unexpected trip to Long Island last weekend. Her remaining brother and my godfather Uncle Jimmy Powers had passed away. He and wife Phyllis have lived in Florida for over 16 years, but at his death, Jim wanted to rest in peace on Long Island, where they all grew up.

Since he was a retired policeman, the men in blue stood as honor guard while he lay in state and escorted us to the cemetery. Since he was a former Marine, the men in uniform retired and presented the flag. It was very respectful and solemn. My cousin, Marsha and husband Ken Raynor and three great kids (Jimmie, Katie and Christie) were there adding the warmth of memories and admiration.

Jim had survived eight years after a bout with esophageal cancer. He had not chewed swallowed any food in all that time. My Aunt Phyllis has assisted him with his tube feedings and whatnot to help him live a relatively normal life. Once a man of Archie Bunker opinions and accent, he was forcibly humbled by cancer to a wispy voice and a much quieter demeanor.

However, he still had his amazing stories that thrilled the grandkids all the more. And he had that borrowed time we all hope to experience in order to show his love to those he was closest to.

As taps flowed out of the bugle and mingled with the trees at Calverton National Cemetery, hearts were moved. Many who came from far away were united for a time to honor and bid farewell to this good man. We slowly departed and went to have a common meal.

Farewell Uncle Jimmy, you will be missed.

Dance to the Music

2007-04-30T19:58:00.000-07:00

Here are some cute pictures of Stephen dancing at the wedding of Theresa and Jack Lynch in Shreveport on April 15th. His partner is the youngest Burgess girl from Mobile. The gathering was especially fun as it included people from several People of Praise branches. Weddings are wonderful times to celebrate and reconnect. And we always appreciate the music!

Waiting

2007-04-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

Well I did promise to post once a week. That's hard when it's been a busy week. I had a great retreat at Rosaryville. What a beautiful and peaceful place. Can I bottle the spring air with its fragrance and colors? What should I call it: Heaven? Peace on Earth? Azalea Explosion Amidst the Shady Spring Breezes?

Anyway, just being there was tranquil. The talks and prayer time were of course powerful. So nice to know that the Lord loves us so much as to indulge our senses on cue. Yes I know he is with me always (we chat frequently) but going away especially to meet with him and waiting to hear his word, makes that encounter so much more meaningful to me. Thank you Lord for being there when I waited for you. I know you always wait for me.

Speaking of waiting. I can confirm one report we hear about post-Katrina New Orleans. There is now nothing emergent about emergency rooms. I had to take Mom there on Thursday as she was having several faint feelings. After doing a quick EKG they determined it was not a heart attack, so we waited. We arrived at 5:30 PM. We left at 1:30 AM. After all that time and a half bag of IV she was feeling much better. They never could find a problem. We both were longing for our comfy beds and soft pillows. It was a looooong evening. I am going to try very hard from now on to have all emergencies during doctor's business hours. Waiting on the Lord is one thing. Waiting on a doctor in the emergency room in New Orleans is something else altogether.

The Big Red Van

2007-03-22T05:08:00.000-07:00

I drive a big red van - salsa red pearl to be exact. One of the reasons I chose that color was because it was so visible.

So why do people keep hitting me!!??

It started with a very old man who couldn't tell his brake from his gas pedal (please give up your license Mr. Doyle). He sideswiped me as I was waiting for the light to turn green. Actually it had turned green and I was just stepping on the gas to go forward. Neither of us were hurt badly - actually he has a bleeding elbow which he refused to investigate; and I had a sore arm which Diane prayed for and it was healed totally- so I got his insurance info, got the damages appraised, got the okay, got the rental car, got my car repaired and all is well. That finished last week.

Fast forward to Tuesday this week. Again I am at a traffic light which has just turned green. I make sure no crazy driver is running his red light which they frequently do around here, and then I begin to step on the gas. Bam!! The girl behind me rams into my big, red van, She didn't see me. What about the big red van did you miss??
So now I have more repairs and a sore neck and back ( reminds me of the time the UPS truck rear ended me but that's another story from long ago.)

And, I guess we have to pray a little harder since my neck is still sore, and I'll have to wait till next week to get the car fixed because we have our People of Praise women's retreat this weekend. I'm driving to that.

So everybody - on the spillway, on I 55, at Middendorf's restaurant, on Hwy 22 in Roasaryville - there is a big red van coming - give me some space!
Thanks.

Disneyworld - a perspective

2007-03-14T14:16:00.000-07:00

We experienced Disneyworld for the first time, Phil, Stephen and I. It was crowded and cold, then crowded and hot. However, the shows and attractions were all first class. Very imaginative. Thankfully we had the guide our of seasoned cousins, Chelsea, Evan, Abby & Julia Slattery (along with their mom and dad, Beth & Rich) to show us the best attractions.

Beth, the experienced mom, had snacks, sunscreen, maps, ibuprofen, and drinks. She really made the days easy. I on the other hand stood in many long lines to get a "quick" ice cream or frozen lemonade. I will do it differently next time.

On the other hand, we were able to get a handicap pass for Stephen. That pass was, to quote one park employee, "like gold." We were able to take the fast track on most every ride and attraction. That was great. There was no way Stephen could wait in the 20, 40 and 50 minute lines the rides were advertising. And almost all the attractions allowed all nine of us to enter on his pass. We appreciated that.

But it was all a bit much for Stephen who was ready to go home by 7 each night. (Never did see the fireworks). Wilderness Lodge was very nice and close by. I think if I go back, I'd like to see only one park, slowly. Epcot would be pleasant. Or maybe MGM studios. We need time to stroll the streets and stop in the stores. Time to watch the people and join the parade. Time to just sit. Stephen would like that and I think so would Phil and I.

Enjoying Gods' Gifts

2007-03-07T14:47:00.000-08:00

Thought I would share with you some of my favorite flowers. The Japanese magnolias actually bloomed first. The tulips bloomed a few weeks later (since that's when I planted them).

***Spring has sprung here in the deep south. The weather is gorgeous! I hope to browse through the Sculpture Garden at City Park sometime soon. ***Stephen made me a beautiful happy birthday card at school today.

***Who knows the mind of the Lord who could invent such beauty, such love and such joy!

Enjoy life today!

You're Never Too Old...

2007-03-05T19:46:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm a quick study. On my birthday eve eve I am attempting to, no, I am creating a blog - a term I didn't even know the meaning of a year ago.

The intent of this site is to post happenings about which others might want to know, along with pictures. I'm not up to videos, yet. I might also post a thought or two. Can't let my son John be the only one who waxes poetic!

So, here it goes and we'll see what happens.